Breath

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath, but didn’t really know I was holding my breath, until I took one. It kind of took me by surprise. A sudden freshness appeared, as though it was a distant memory rushing back into my life. Have you ever done that?

Have you ever forgotten to breathe? I’m not sure we do it deliberately, like a spoilt child foolishly trying to manipulate their circumstances. More like a moment of suspense, where our senses are so focused on some great looming moment in the future that we forget what we need in the present. Subconsciously surviving on the breath we took yesterday, our bodies wither without us knowing until we just can’t hold it anymore. And then we breathe.

None of us set a recurring reminder in our phones to breathe, although, I’m certain I’ve seen an app for that. In general, we just do it. One breath in. One breath out. Millions of physiological interactions, each a miniature miracle, taking place during that brief moment. One breath in. One breath out. At least, that is what usually happens. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes we hold our breath. Sometimes our lungs burn, and mind swims, our chest aches — and then we breathe again. Life returns.

What if God held his breath? It’s a frightening prospect, isn’t it? 

Would we return to the clay from where we were formed? Would the flesh fall away and reveal dry bones once more? Would the Spirit depart leaving us looking for hyssop? Would it wither and perish and tears elicit?

I imagine so. In fact, I know so. I know because I’ve seen it within the pages of holy writ. I’ve seen the effect of God’s breath as it rolled upon the waters deep. I’ve seen it ripple across the lifeless form of mud gathered from an ancient garden, transforming it to a breathing being itself. I’ve seen it race across the heavens and rummage the distant corners to usher the flesh of life to cover ancient bones.

“The hand of the LORD was on me, and he brought me out by his Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley, and they were very dry. Then he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I replied, “Lord GOD, only you know.” He said to me, “Prophesy concerning these bones and say to them: Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Lord GOD says to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you, and you will live. I will put tendons on you, make flesh grow on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you so that you come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.”” (Ezekiel 37:1–6, CSB)

I’ve seen that same breath, the one that blows where it pleases, bringing life like that of a new born baby. I’ve seen this same breath come from the mouth of the Creator as it had from the beginning, and with it the breath of God dwelt within.

“After saying this, he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” (John 20:22, CSB)

I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. But the question remains, what does it look like when God holds his breath?

Maybe it looks like the emptiness of night. Maybe it would be without form and void, with darkness over the face of the deep. Maybe it would simply be a pile of clay, or a valley of dry bones, or a branch cut off from the vine. Maybe it would be the 400 years of silence as heaven closed its gates and all that was left was the echo of both promise and peril.

“Look, I am going to send you the prophet Elijah before the great and terrible day of the LORD comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse.”” (Malachi 4:5–6, CSB)

Then, it seems, God held his breath. We waited, wondering, hoping, praying, until with aching chest a light broke over the Judean hillside. God exhaled and life renewed. Now as the breath again flows from there to where we are, we join with Simeon of old.

“Now, Master, you can dismiss your servant in peace, as you promised. For my eyes have seen your salvation. You have prepared it in the presence of all peoples— a light for revelation to the Gentiles and glory to your people Israel.” (Luke 2:29–32, CSB)

God breathed. Now so can we.