Getting Older Is Not What I Expected

“For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” - John 6:40

The sun is fast setting on my 43rd year, soon I will commemorate another birthday. Each passing year is becoming a more vivid reminder of my weakness and frailty as a man. It’s not the way I thought it would be; my youthful dreaming of what it would be like to grow older in Christ. I thought my doubts and fears would slowly fall away—they haven’t. I thought my flesh and sinful desires would become just a passing annoyance, rather than remain a daily battle. I thought my confidence in the will of God would render me secure in my decision making, yet I still waver.

But here’s what I do know, and has become the thing I’m sure of most:

My God is not like me. My God is able to stay the course. My God is not ravaged by time and indecision. My God is mighty to save.

I will not reach the end of my life transcendent, ready to step over the threshold of glory. On the last day, I’ll need to be raised up. On the last day as a disciple here on earth, I’ll need the rescuing hand of God just as much as the day I met him at the foot of the cross.

But it is the will of God to secure me for that day. Despite my weakness, despite my frailty, Jesus is enough.