Which Is Better?

Do you remember?

Swirling between endless streams of humanity, though parting, they seem to not see you at all. Sitting on the flowing sidewalk, like an observer beside a swollen creek, just one of the thousands there, yet alone.

Do you recall?

A busy cafe bustling with familiar morning cries, standing in line for your turn to worship whatever magic the Barista delivers. No one speaks. Diverted eyes, shuffling feet, fretful glances at the time; waiting for our offering, yet alone.

Yesterday we were alone in a crowd, just one of the millions wandering. Yesterday we walked beside people, stood almost touching, so close yet so far. Yesterday we longed to be seen, even as a thousand pairs of eyes looked past us. Yesterday.

Do you feel it? The irony of our solitude? 

Sitting in the silence of our homes as the children finally sleep; seeing the remnants of the day scattered about us, the discarded hopes of excellence. Each day a copy of a copy, small flaws magnified over the blurred edges of the night.

But we share our sorrow.

How long has it been? How long since humanity has shared collective grief? How long since we’ve been together in our solitude? How long? 

A strange quiet has settled over our streets. Knowing nods between strangers, over gardens newly noticed, replace the quick drive in with garage remote in hand. Our aloneness has become the glue that binds our collective groaning. Our yearning for something we thought we had unsettles us, yet the bustling sound of meals around the kitchen table speak of a deeper yearning for something we’d lost, but now hope we might be finding anew.

Yesterday we were alone in our togetherness. Today we are together in our aloneness. I wonder. Which is better?